All Lives Matter...What Does it *Really* Mean

Me (obviously frustrated, but a middle aged white woman): "There are just people who refuse to understand that when they hear "Black Lives Matter" it has nothing to do with them.  They refuse to understand that it's not a statement that their life doesn't matter because they're not black.  It's not an attack on them.  It's just that it's obvious in our society that black lives don't matter to everyone and to make a point that they actually do.  They always preface the statement that they don't support Black Lives matter and that they support all lives matter with 'I'm not racist but.'  They just don't get that they are inherently demonstrating that they ARE racist."

My boss (being more patient than I deserve and very helpful): "It's just so hurtful."  (pause) "It's like if...God forbid something like this would happen...but it's like if I told you my mom died and you responded with 'yeah, my mom died last week and, Bill over there, his mom died a couple of months ago.'  You're not even acknowledging that something painful happened to me and just started talking about yourself."

Which illustrates the situation so succinctly and clearly.   Something I could never do on my own because I'm not black.  My boss is. 

Anyone here coming from a link from my Facebook post, probably saw a pretty tense interaction on one of my political posts where the subject Black Lives Matter came up.  Frankly, it really threw me that someone who I always refer to as a "favorite" relative would think to use Black Lives Matter as an insult like he did.  Then, when I responded with my very strong belief that anyone who is a decent human being supports BLM, I got the response I described to my boss in the scenario above from another family member.  They were very offended that I implied that they are not a decent human being.  That resulted in my failed attempt to explain.

As a white person, it's inevitable that someone we are related to does not really understand the true meaning of the Black Lives Matter movement and takes it, and anyone calling out that all decent human beings *should* be supporting it, as a personal attack.   Instead of stepping back and wondering, or asking, why someone would say that, they have a knee-jerk reaction and feel attacked.

My initial response, stating that responding to someone saying "Black Lives Matter" with an automatic "all lives matter" and treating All Lives Matter as a movement, is actually racist may seen a little harsh.  Still, a lot of black people believe that it is...so I have to go with that.  At the very, VERY least it is incredibly tone deaf and hurtful, as my boss confirmed.

I don't know if my response actually made any difference in how anyone feels.  I am a political outcast in my family and all of them are pretty used to dismissing anything I say without actually listening.  I think, at the very least, I'm about to be the newest person never invited to any family gathering.

Bless my boss...my amazing boss.  Not only is he a good boss, but he's patient and non-judgmental of my middle aged white woman whining about shit like this.  Yes, I totally acknowledge that I, like so many "woke" white people, can be annoying and reek of possible virtue signaling.  I don't mean to, but I can totally see that even bringing this up to a black friend can come off as my bragging about trying to be a white knight (pun semi-intended), but that is completely in retrospect.  I really just wanted to get his take on what I was doing wrong...or right.  I'm going to really try to quit doing this (retrospect again) as I may be doing this too much.

I don't even want to get into it when people respond to the Black Lives Matter movement but bringing up Blue Lives Matter.  Well, maybe just a little...

You do realize that Black Lives Matter is a movement that is specifically calling out the systemic racism is the law enforcement community?  We have documented proof of law enforcement kneeling on black men until they suffocate, shooting black men in the back, shooting black women in their own home, shooting black children when they mistake a toy for a gun...the list goes on.  If you do find a similar example of this happening with a white person, it's a much rarer occurrence.   Support your local police if you want to, that's fine.  But doing it in a way that slaps the Black Lives Matter movement in the face can only be described as racist.  No excuses.

Also, you are being disingenuous when you say "all lives matter" because, in today's society and climate, they actually don't.  The Black Lives Matter movement will be around until *everyone* actually believes that black lives REALLY do matter.  So, until then

Image stolen from the CBS News article Why saying "all lives matter" communicates to Black people that their lives don't.

Implicit Bias

While I'm trying to find time to read up on The Constitution and prepare my thoughts on why I feel that it is being attacked, I thought we could try something different...

Well peeps, if you're not aware of what implicit bias is, prepare for a shock.  While this is mostly directed to a white audience, you don't have to be white to have implicit bias.

So, if you are have absolutely convinced yourself that you are 100% color blind and have not a drop of racism or colorism in your mental makeup, I invite you to take this test:

Race IAT test

If you're not comfortable just clicking on a link to enter info into a website you can go to the Project Implicit website, read about their data privacy policy and other information about Project Implicit.  When you're comfortable, click on the "Take a Test" link on the top menu bar and choose the "Race IAT" button.   There are more bias tests that you can come back to and try out later as well.

Once you are done, read the Understanding Implicit Bias short publication from the Kirwan Institute of the Ohio State University

While having bias does not mean you are a racist, it can mean that you are unconsciously taking someone's race into account when interacting with them, which does pretty much say that you are not 100% color blind.  Even if it is not a conscious thing.

I think it is important to use this as a starting point before having any conversation about racism.   As a white person, I have to acknowledge that my upbringing and perspective of the world does impact how I relate to people of other races.  Is it possible for me to really understand their experience?   Or is it more important to listen and do my best to empathize?

If you're interested in having a conversation about the results of your test and what you plan to do now that you are aware of the results, please comment below.

Trolls and others that do show evidence of having a calm and balanced conversation will be blocked.

Trying to Make a Difference This Time

 Yep, it's been years and much of what I feared has come to pass.  With about a month until the next Presidential election, this country is incredibly divided and just a scary mess.  I find it interesting that the current administration is running on the platform of rescuing us from what is currently going on in this country when what is going on is the direct result of the current administration.

This president has a history of promoting violence. From the beginning...meaning his campaign rallies back when he first ran for president, he encouraged the beating of anyone protesting at his rally.  

He also has a history of racism that continues to this day.  His existence as the leader of this country has only encouraged citizens to comfortably exhibit their racism openly.   The existing systemic racism in our country's law enforcement was only more openly exhibited proving to many that black lives didn't actually matter to them.   The image of George Floyd pleading for his life, not struggling, not resisting, while one white cop knelt on his neck long enough to murder him while other officers looked on dispassionately will be forever burned in the minds of all of us.  His crime...alleged forgery.  Not any kind of violent crime at all. 

 While this sort of murderous abuse of power has been happening for years, it just seems to have escalated in the last 4 years.  Maybe it's because of social media...or maybe because this is the straw... too much has been happening and it was time to just blow up.

Another thing that has been incredibly disturbing is the number of times that it seems that this administration seems to be ignoring the Constitution.  Maybe willfully...maybe out of ignorance.  

My plan is to study up a bit on the Constitution and try to identify times when this document has been ignored or tossed out the window during this last 4 years.  I will be referring to this website and trying to focus on individual parts of this cornerstone of our country and how it relates to events of the last 4 years.  

Will I change anyone's mind?  Possibly not...but I feel that I need to say SOMETHING or I'm guilty of standing by silently while fascism takes over another country.  My recent ancestors were guilty of this...I refuse to be.  

Good Grief

I don't know why I do this to myself, but I'm watching the ABC news exclusive interview with the Orange Tweeting Toddler.

I came in during the questions about his assertions about voter fraud.  He listed a bunch of supposed fraudulent voter practices going on and the reporter points out that these theories have been debunked.  Trump tries to argue that they haven't been...he's ready the Pew report.  Reporter cuts him off stating that he spoke to the author of that report last night and stated that there was no evidence of any of those things going on.  Of course the response is insinuating that the author of the Pew report is lying.

I think he truly believes that his crowd for the inauguration was the largest ever.  He's truly delusional. Or the best actor ever.

The straw for me was Trump holding up Fox News as the beacon of fair reporting.

I made it through 10 minutes...he's threatening to bring back waterboarding, call in the Feds on Chicago...I'm done.

UPDATE on 1/26/2017

The Washington Post published the full transcript of the interview with some very interesting annotations.  Find it HERE.

The First Day

January 20, 2017...the first day of Donald Trump's presidency.  The first day of taking a step back.  His first two executive orders are to weaken the Affordable Care Act and to cut back on a federal discount program that only benefits middle class families trying to buy a home.

Yeah, I'm a liberal.  You know what that means...it means that, at the end of the day, I believe in "live and let live."  I don't judge anyone for the color of their skin, their sexual orientation, their religion, their national origin, or anything else that is really not any of my business.  However, I this does not extend to standing by while my or any other people's rights are infringed on.  While our world is being abused by fossil fuels and decimation of natural resources.  While there are those who think that they are better than us because we are "bleeding hearts;" which, to me, translates as people who care.

Don't deliberately misunderstand...the existence of a gay marriage does not infringe on your rights. The existence of equality for all human beings does not infringe on you in any way. There is enough equality to go around, it is an infinite quality that everyone should get a piece of and it's still there for the next generation.

Barack Obama was a great president.  He accomplished so much while weathering the vitriol and contrary stubbornness of his detractors.  So many were willing to believe the worst lies about him...lies that would have been brushed off as ridiculous if applied to any other president in our history.  No, he wasn't perfect...he made mistakes, especially at the beginning.  However, he got us out of a recession, made sure everyone had access to the medical treatment they needed, and made it possible for people to express their love openly.   He and his family have class, humor, and kindness.

But it's not just President Obama's legacy at stake here.  I live in Texas, very close to Austin, where reminders of the presidency of LBJ are everywhere.  Nobody here realizes that the legacy of our beloved hometown president is at risk as well.

For example:

The Equal Rights Amendment
The Voting Rights Act
Medicaid
Medicare
National Endowment of the Humanities
National Endowment of the Arts
Head Start, Food Stamps, and Work Study
Gun Control Act of 1968

All of these are, in one way or another, in danger or under attack. So, while Texans visit LBJ's birthplace, enjoy the Lyndon B. Johnson National Historical Park, or vacation on Lake LBJ...they don't think that the legacy of the President that all of these these things are named for is being spat upon by the new regime.  This is Texas...one of the most conservative states in existence.

Tomorrow there is a Woman's March on ATX, one of many such protests going on this weekend.  It is heartening to know that I am not the only one who feels this way and that we will band together to have one single, strong voice.  We are not powerless, this is America and it's already great because we all can freely express this voice.

We can all loudly, and say with overwhelming certainty:

HE IS NOT MY PRESIDENT

A Little Crazy on Both Sides...

It's come to this.  Rioting in the streets.  The same thing we believed that Donald Trump was prepping his supporters for should he lose the race.  It's the one thing we were worried about when Hillary won and all he was left with were his sour grapes.

WHAT THE FUCKING HELL PEOPLE???!!

The handful of you who are acting like complete idiots are vastly overshadowing the large numbers of us who are lawfully, peacefully, demonstrating.  For every Portland and Los Angeles, there is a Chicago, Austin, Orlando, Hampton, Philadelphia, San Francisco...the list goes on.  However, nobody is talking about or noticing anyone peacefully protesting with a lovely photo of smashed windshields in a car dealership to focus on...or, better yet, the battered face of a press photographer.

I've heard the violence has been caused by "anarchists," but it's hard to tell who these people are.  Are they real anarchists using this opportunity of unrest to insinuate themselves into loud, large crowds to incite violence?  Are they really Hillary supporters who are so scared, upset, and frustrated that they are lashing out physically (and wrongly labeled anarchists to make us seem more radical than we really are).  Who knows and does it really matter at this point?

So, I beg you...stop what you are doing.  Read a little about Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr, and learn about Civil Disobedience.  Act Up is a good resource for figuring out how to do it the right way.

The Beginning of the End

I'm still a little numb.

I'm still a lot frustrated

I'm becoming increasingly frightened.  For me, my friends, this country.

There are those who will point and laugh and say that it's time for a taste of my own medicine.  That it's my fault that the state of this country is what it is.

Those people are idiots.  At no time did the current (and he *is* still current) President exhibit such a level of racism, misogyny and hatred that people who fit all three of those labels feel free to come out of their caves, beat their chests, and run amok.

You cannot decide someone is racist against white people simply because he is not white.

But I'm starting something here that I can't finish right now...so I'll just say

I'm numb.

I'm frustrated.

I'm scared.

And I'll be telling you all about it soon.