Me (obviously frustrated, but a middle aged white woman): "There are just people who refuse to understand that when they hear "Black Lives Matter" it has nothing to do with them. They refuse to understand that it's not a statement that their life doesn't matter because they're not black. It's not an attack on them. It's just that it's obvious in our society that black lives don't matter to everyone and to make a point that they actually do. They always preface the statement that they don't support Black Lives matter and that they support all lives matter with 'I'm not racist but.' They just don't get that they are inherently demonstrating that they ARE racist."
My boss (being more patient than I deserve and very helpful): "It's just so hurtful." (pause) "It's like if...God forbid something like this would happen...but it's like if I told you my mom died and you responded with 'yeah, my mom died last week and, Bill over there, his mom died a couple of months ago.' You're not even acknowledging that something painful happened to me and just started talking about yourself."
Which illustrates the situation so succinctly and clearly. Something I could never do on my own because I'm not black. My boss is.
Anyone here coming from a link from my Facebook post, probably saw a pretty tense interaction on one of my political posts where the subject Black Lives Matter came up. Frankly, it really threw me that someone who I always refer to as a "favorite" relative would think to use Black Lives Matter as an insult like he did. Then, when I responded with my very strong belief that anyone who is a decent human being supports BLM, I got the response I described to my boss in the scenario above from another family member. They were very offended that I implied that they are not a decent human being. That resulted in my failed attempt to explain.
As a white person, it's inevitable that someone we are related to does not really understand the true meaning of the Black Lives Matter movement and takes it, and anyone calling out that all decent human beings *should* be supporting it, as a personal attack. Instead of stepping back and wondering, or asking, why someone would say that, they have a knee-jerk reaction and feel attacked.
My initial response, stating that responding to someone saying "Black Lives Matter" with an automatic "all lives matter" and treating All Lives Matter as a movement, is actually racist may seen a little harsh. Still, a lot of black people believe that it is...so I have to go with that. At the very, VERY least it is incredibly tone deaf and hurtful, as my boss confirmed.
I don't know if my response actually made any difference in how anyone feels. I am a political outcast in my family and all of them are pretty used to dismissing anything I say without actually listening. I think, at the very least, I'm about to be the newest person never invited to any family gathering.
Bless my boss...my amazing boss. Not only is he a good boss, but he's patient and non-judgmental of my middle aged white woman whining about shit like this. Yes, I totally acknowledge that I, like so many "woke" white people, can be annoying and reek of possible virtue signaling. I don't mean to, but I can totally see that even bringing this up to a black friend can come off as my bragging about trying to be a white knight (pun semi-intended), but that is completely in retrospect. I really just wanted to get his take on what I was doing wrong...or right. I'm going to really try to quit doing this (retrospect again) as I may be doing this too much.
I don't even want to get into it when people respond to the Black Lives Matter movement but bringing up Blue Lives Matter. Well, maybe just a little...
You do realize that Black Lives Matter is a movement that is specifically calling out the systemic racism is the law enforcement community? We have documented proof of law enforcement kneeling on black men until they suffocate, shooting black men in the back, shooting black women in their own home, shooting black children when they mistake a toy for a gun...the list goes on. If you do find a similar example of this happening with a white person, it's a much rarer occurrence. Support your local police if you want to, that's fine. But doing it in a way that slaps the Black Lives Matter movement in the face can only be described as racist. No excuses.
Also, you are being disingenuous when you say "all lives matter" because, in today's society and climate, they actually don't. The Black Lives Matter movement will be around until *everyone* actually believes that black lives REALLY do matter. So, until then
Image stolen from the CBS News article Why saying "all lives matter" communicates to Black people that their lives don't.
My boss (being more patient than I deserve and very helpful): "It's just so hurtful." (pause) "It's like if...God forbid something like this would happen...but it's like if I told you my mom died and you responded with 'yeah, my mom died last week and, Bill over there, his mom died a couple of months ago.' You're not even acknowledging that something painful happened to me and just started talking about yourself."
Which illustrates the situation so succinctly and clearly. Something I could never do on my own because I'm not black. My boss is.
Anyone here coming from a link from my Facebook post, probably saw a pretty tense interaction on one of my political posts where the subject Black Lives Matter came up. Frankly, it really threw me that someone who I always refer to as a "favorite" relative would think to use Black Lives Matter as an insult like he did. Then, when I responded with my very strong belief that anyone who is a decent human being supports BLM, I got the response I described to my boss in the scenario above from another family member. They were very offended that I implied that they are not a decent human being. That resulted in my failed attempt to explain.
As a white person, it's inevitable that someone we are related to does not really understand the true meaning of the Black Lives Matter movement and takes it, and anyone calling out that all decent human beings *should* be supporting it, as a personal attack. Instead of stepping back and wondering, or asking, why someone would say that, they have a knee-jerk reaction and feel attacked.
My initial response, stating that responding to someone saying "Black Lives Matter" with an automatic "all lives matter" and treating All Lives Matter as a movement, is actually racist may seen a little harsh. Still, a lot of black people believe that it is...so I have to go with that. At the very, VERY least it is incredibly tone deaf and hurtful, as my boss confirmed.
I don't know if my response actually made any difference in how anyone feels. I am a political outcast in my family and all of them are pretty used to dismissing anything I say without actually listening. I think, at the very least, I'm about to be the newest person never invited to any family gathering.
Bless my boss...my amazing boss. Not only is he a good boss, but he's patient and non-judgmental of my middle aged white woman whining about shit like this. Yes, I totally acknowledge that I, like so many "woke" white people, can be annoying and reek of possible virtue signaling. I don't mean to, but I can totally see that even bringing this up to a black friend can come off as my bragging about trying to be a white knight (pun semi-intended), but that is completely in retrospect. I really just wanted to get his take on what I was doing wrong...or right. I'm going to really try to quit doing this (retrospect again) as I may be doing this too much.
I don't even want to get into it when people respond to the Black Lives Matter movement but bringing up Blue Lives Matter. Well, maybe just a little...
You do realize that Black Lives Matter is a movement that is specifically calling out the systemic racism is the law enforcement community? We have documented proof of law enforcement kneeling on black men until they suffocate, shooting black men in the back, shooting black women in their own home, shooting black children when they mistake a toy for a gun...the list goes on. If you do find a similar example of this happening with a white person, it's a much rarer occurrence. Support your local police if you want to, that's fine. But doing it in a way that slaps the Black Lives Matter movement in the face can only be described as racist. No excuses.
Also, you are being disingenuous when you say "all lives matter" because, in today's society and climate, they actually don't. The Black Lives Matter movement will be around until *everyone* actually believes that black lives REALLY do matter. So, until then
Image stolen from the CBS News article Why saying "all lives matter" communicates to Black people that their lives don't.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Due to the nature of this blog and the polarizing topic, I am moderating comments. If you can express yourself calmly and can provide supporting evidence for claims you make, I will publish the comment. This is not moderation for content, but for tone. Thank you and I look forward to our fair and balanced debate.